This morning I had an aha-moment at work! I went into work expecting one of my clients to have passed away. Turned out, she didn’t. In fact, she was clear! And she made my day.
As I went into her room, I noticed her eyes were open and they followed me as I moved through her room, she talked (not rationally) and she even laughed a bit. I had made her the same mixture I made her last week (when we all thought she was literally dying); mashed up banana, juice of a fresh orange and some oats. She ate it all while we talked about her cold hands, the Christmas tree and the blue sky. I made bad jokes, she laughed a bit.
What I loved the most about it, was that when she looked me in my eyes, I saw hèr again. The previous weeks her eyes were empty. Now she was back. Sort of. It felt so good.
I have made it a habbit to tell my clients what I love about them, in whatever moment that may be. So I told her: “You’re making me so happy right now! You’re looking at me with those beautiful big eyes and showing me your big smile again. You’re eating again, which I love since I made it myself. You have already made my day!” And there was that smile again. She heard me. She understood me. She smiled. Oh boy, the gratefulness and love I felt at that moment was so beautiful. I could do that all day, every day.
Today I got cursed at several times and one client actually took a swing at me, but that’s just collateral damage. They will storm of in a rage but will have forgotten it when they come back after a few minutes. I just make sure to hug them a little extra or offer them an extra cookie. Because even though they don’t remember what happened, they may still experience the emotions such as angre or sadness. The deeper feeling still remains.
After my shift, I usually have about 30 minutes before I get home. I normally use that to overthink my actions but today there was such an overwhelming feeling of pure love in me. I love my clients. I love working there. I love taking care of people. Especially those who are vulnerable. I’m such a mom.
Maybe, just maybe, this is my calling.