Throughout my life, I have been allergic to negativity. I have experienced negative minded people that will always find a reason to justify their attitude or a way to start whining.
Family and friends know me as the woman with the positive attitude, generous and down to earth. People rarely get me angry, yet there are some exceptions.
I’ve been generous to the point of people trying to take advantage of that. That doesn’t fly well with me. Especially if they can’t or won’t see any harm in what they’re doing.
For instance: I own a Facebook group with over 1.000 members. People can donate free food, furniture, toys, clothes, etc. and others have a chance to ‘win’ it. Recently we decided to make ‘vacation-treat-bags’, which include all kinds of treats for children: candy, juice, potato chips, cookies, fresh fruit, etc. We received donations, bought some extras ourselves and created 5 of them. We made 1 extra that was more about basic foods (meat, vegetables, bread, pasta, etc.) and donated it to a local couple. To my surprise, after picking up the food (mostly paid for it myself) they still wanted one of the vacation-treat-bags we had. In the description we made clear they were meant for families with children! They had none. I confronted the lady about it, because I found it very ungrateful and inappropriate to snatch a bag for just her and her partner, àfter they had already received a filled bag of groceries (€40 – €50).. meaning 1 family with children had to go without. They would’ve received two (!) while a family in need would’ve received none at all.
That just blew my mind. Especially since I had not even received ‘thank you’ from them! I confronted her, in a very polite and articulate way, since I did not want to hurt her feelings knowing how they were struggling. Her only response was: “oke”.. her Facebook was later on filled with these random pictures:
I put so many time, effort, love and money into this couple.. and I was repaid with ungratefulness and resentment. I was in shock. I was outraged. But in retrospect I realize, all they know is how to be victims. Victims of life, ex’s, health issues.. all that was said was how life treated them bad. It was not healthy for me to even be near them. I would allow myself to be drained. No more.
They will no longer receive my help or the help of my group. And I learned a valuable lesson: that I appreciate honesty more than I thought, that without gratefulness you’re nowhere in life and the importance of being able to give rather than to receive. This negativity will be let go.